Today was better.
Something nice is happening. Actually, I don't know if it's nice or not but right now it seems nice.
So, there is some sort of joy, yes.
Apart from that,
there's less woe from yesterday mostly because I didn't get ghastly nightmares. These aren't nightmares really. They're wonderful moments in my dreams. I'm so happy in them. There are friends around me and there's the Boy, too. We're doing normal, fun things together. So much love and all.
But that's where the nightmare starts. I wake up in a sweat, wanting it to be real. On Sunday I woke up in tears. Is that a way to wake up?
No!!
But that's what happened.
I don't want to push the Boy out of my mind, I think he should fade out himself. If I forced myself to forget him... See, coercion would mean emphasis and importance. And I don't want that. I want him to go at the back of my mind and then fade out on his own. How am I helping him do that? How am I helping myself? Well, let's just say, I am. I know it.
Once again, thank you so much for all the lovely words. I truly appreciate them. And I am keeping them in mind.
Let's get back to some sketching then, shall we?
Hey, I drew a duck today.
It's a duck for Asha's story of Mr. Duck.
Psst...guess what! Fred's finally through. Yayy! I'm going to get the cheque in a day or two. yay!
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6 comments:
Hey, no kidding.. This' my kinda doodle!!
Some people tell me I'm a loony, and some think I'm obsessed with English (the language).
But hey, does that make you a loony too, or does it make me non-loony?
Oh Gosh, I thought this was a different post altogether.. went back to comment on Something nice is happening and realised it was just one post with all emotions mixed up :)
Yes, the Boy should fade out.
Tip: think of Boy 2, in the meantime :)
I read Asha's story and loved it.. This Duck makes it complete :)
Hey, I want a picture of a dog who's changed from a pup to God-alone-knows-what, with time.. Can you make me one, please?
I read this on a tee shirt yesterday:
Take my advice...but don't always act on it!
To say that you don't want to give him importance, as far as I can tell, is hardly the right way to go about it. Because, like it or not, he is important to you at this point in time, If you haven't told him yet, tell him. If you have, then just give it time and try to move on. But, then again, you know best what works for you :-)
Nessa, give me more details about the dog and I'll try and draw you one. I'm awful at drawing animals you know. The bunnies I drew first, looked like a taxidermist had worked on them. They all looked dead and stuffed. Then they got somewhat better but I shudder at the thought of putting them here..
Dogs...I'll try, wokay?
Ghost, yes, I'm trying in my own way. It's been nearly a year, I forgot to mention that in the post.
Exactly. What can I say?
Haven't you heard, friend, that it's easier to give advice? :-) Your one year seems like a minute compared to how long it's been for me BUT the point is: if you've had your closure, in any form or state, just move on. Take it from me, it'll cost you otherwise.
wasabi is a kind of an elk no??
congrats on Fred getting through...
cheers
z
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