I'm in Ahmedabad submitting my film.
Been running around getting the last minute things tied up, don't want to leave anything unfinished.
It's sheer joy to be back here. I can sit at the main gate and sips endless cups of chai and even smoke if I want. People come and go and there's always a refreshing conversation to be a part of. If I'm alone, there's always the trees and the birds and of course, my sketchbook to keep me company. Alongwith, of course, Manu. The cups of chai he doles out are simply amazing. Sometimes I've even gulped down 8 cups in one go. Of course, they're these mini cups.
Last night while I was recording my voice over with two batchmates, it was hilarious. The voice over is in Hindi and we first scripted it. It isn't much, just about 8 lines but they needed to be said with a lot of emotion at the right places. We recorded at home, shut the doors and told the dogs to stop barking and go to sleep (it was around 3:30 am) and turned off the fans. The result is fine. I'm sure my batchmates who were doing the VO, must've dreamt of actually being HIV + after saying those lines scores of times over. It was really nice of them to get so involved in it.
I can't believe so many things are happening. I'm going back to Delhi on Thursday and then leaving for Chicago on Friday night. It's a whole lot of shift for someone who's been grounded at home for so many past months but I'm looking forward to it all. The uncertainity of the future doesn't scare me, I know things will get figured out as I walk on.
Leaving behind some memories. Trying to hold on to some other ones. Building new ones all along. What else is there to do? And also, staying clear of frivolous talkers. the sort who make big promises and when you finally decide to perch on them, they go away. Those are the scary ones. And all this caution has made me indifferent as a result of which I have become somewhat numb. It's scary too. Sometimes there's something good staring at my face and I'm not even thinking about it. I guess there's a specific time and place for everything but there's one thing I'm worried about. I used to be so open to things. Things happening and people coming into my life. That's how I met some of the most unconventional people. I was always on the lookout for new things. Fresh mind. The questions remain, the inquisitive mind is there, but that openness is going away. I'm wary. Scared and tired. 'What if'...'but then'....'no, no, I can't'...you know the sort... It's always these things on my mind. Too scared.
And then this junior friend I have here, sat with me, we talked about things. You know the sort of friends you don't need to be constantly in touch with to know what's going on exactly in each others' lives? Well, he's one of them. So we talked. Was nice.
I didn't know how badly I was craving for company till I reached here, three nights ago. Since then I've been on a spin, talking, talking, talking, asking all the questions about all sorts of work that had been buried. It's SO rejuvenating to be with people!
This is a mixed bag, this post, I mean. But then, so is my life right now. And I want my life to be a mixed bag always. But without major bumps.
Anyhow, I can't believe my film's over! And my guide liked it. Can't believe it.
Feels super good. And it's the first time I'm here without any work tensions.
Sure feels good.
Toodles till we meet again after a week or so, or maybe sooner.