So

So, are you looking for inspiration too?
I've often wondered
if I
should've got myself a job where my main work would involve talking.
But then, I get very silent for days.
So, they'd kick me out in a week's time.

I like to surf the net, look for interesting blogs and websites. Sometimes I come across trash and at others, I find true inspiration. I'd like to come across something that's got some text and images but is still so empty, reflecting the person's life.
I see most of the blogs are either too full or too empty. There is never that ethereal silence.
And that's what I need right now, to be able to relate with someone who's life is like a cave right now.
So then I can look at myself from outside.

There were tmes when I spent days in the library back at college, looking at paintings by various painters, from Rodin, Renoir to Frida, Jackson Pollock. I educated myself about art. These books were my mentors for years. I miss them all so much now. To be able to sit under the shade of a million books resting on rows of shelves. Ataraxia.
Peace
calm
solitude
to be left alone for hours with my books.
And more than that, to Have these books around me..
When will it ever happen again?
Will it ever happen again?
What does life has in store for me next?
Being in transit for so long is making me doubt the gravity of the journey.
Whatever happened to all those plans I'd made for my life?
They're vanishing into the air
one
by
one.
I crave for my life to be filled with things and events.
I'd like to get back to my little house really tired every evening and then say to myself, 'Oh, I've no energy to go out for that dinner / party'.
That would be wonderful.
To see faces,
colours,
feet,
hands,
hair styles,
drapes,
and smell
new things each day.